Yeah maybe that vent scoop would be too much, I was thinking a larger vent would be better to keep the air moving into the tank. Maybe I could just put two standard 5/8" vents in place to get a cross breeze. As for the pump out, would a Y valve below the tank do it and the discharge line do it?
Nigel Calder's book has an illustration of one fairly similar to yours. I'm unable to reproduce the illustration so I will try to discuss it. One important difference is that Calder's toilet is turned 90 degrees so that its back is against the bulkhead, rather than against the hull. Accordingly, the tank is on the bulkhead as well, as opposed to being on the hull just below the deck as yours appears to. The idea is that the further to the center of the boat the tank is the better to avoid the boat's HEELING water line. Your picture shows the static water line but not the heeling, which is just as important.
As far as the vent, Calder's is centered on the top of the tank and extends to the hull, just below the hull to deck joint, rather than going up to the deck as yours does.
Finally, as for the pumpout, Calder's is also at the top of the tank, extending from the deck down through the tank to the tank's bottom. Also, it is attached to the tank as close to the centerline of the boat as possible (which puts it on the end of the tank as opposed to the vent which is centered on the tank).
Here are a couple of Calder's additional helpful hints:
1. Give the tank a large enough vent so that aerobic, rather than anaerobic, bacteria predominates for odor control. He doesn't give a size, but in his diagram the vent diameter looks about the same as the discharge line between the toilet and the tank. I don't think 5/8 " is what he had in mind.
2. If the line from the tank drain to the seacock at the bottom (the yellow line in your diagram) is straight enough, the line can be cleared from below by poking something through the thru-hull.
On edit: How wide are your side decks? In the photo it looks like they are quite narrow. Is that why you are mounting the toilet and tank against the hull rather than agianst the bulkhead?